Just know though, go after your dreams.
Join Uver and I as we talk about his journey of faith, battles with distractions, and joys of being the best partner and father he can be. Uver shares his story of digging deep, moving past mistakes and living in the moment. We share our thoughts on comparison, money, validation, traditions and more!
Support Uver:
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Uver Espi Instagram
Just Know Though Podcast provides an open space to discuss mental health, some episodes contains depression and past trauma which are not to draw attention to the guest, but rather express the painful thoughts that one may experience. To highlight the tremendous journey, and potential power one possesses to overcome battles. To encourage support and grace because it is more common than we think. If you or someone you know needs assistance, please text or call the numbers below. Most importantly reach out to them and let them know they matter and that you care and then listen.
Just know though, go after your dreams.
Join Uver and I as we talk about his journey of faith, battles with distractions, and joys of being the best partner and father he can be. Uver shares his story of digging deep, moving past mistakes and living in the moment. We share our thoughts on comparison, money, validation, traditions and more!
Support Uver:
Monchie Cart
Uver Espi Instagram
Just Know Though Podcast provides an open space to discuss mental health, some episodes contains depression and past trauma which are not to draw attention to the guest, but rather express the painful thoughts that one may experience. To highlight the tremendous journey, and potential power one possesses to overcome battles. To encourage support and grace because it is more common than we think. If you or someone you know needs assistance, please text or call the numbers below. Most importantly reach out to them and let them know they matter and that you care and then listen.
it's crazy how God puts you with people when you make mistakes, when you pray, when you start a business, when whatever you do, God is going to put you in that position for you to learn. All right Welcome or welcome back to just another podcast we are just blessed today this evening and We are in our Discipline over distraction series we're just talking about having a disciplined mind and each guest that's coming on is The intention is to empower others to eliminate fear and doubts and whatever they're pursuing And the goal is to encourage others even if it's just one person and speak against distractions Deception and discouragement while pursuing goals and we have a special guest with us today And I feel self conscious about saying his name So will you please say your name for the audience today? Yes. Hi everybody. My name is Uber Espinosa. Thank you. I was getting anxiety over pronouncing that. So I'm so excited to have you today. I know that you're a father, you're a partner, you are a man of God. And, but you also grind, you have businesses on the side, plus your day job. You are a provider, you are an entrepreneur and I really appreciate watching all of your content on Instagram. Which is why I wanted to invite you. I thought you're perfect for this series and anything you'd like to share with the audience before we get started? Go ahead and I hope you guys dive deep into this episode. And just listen to what Jen is trying to provide for everybody. And she has some great gems and she brings people along in her podcast that, can change one person's life. Wow. Thank you for setting the tone for the episode. What were your initial thoughts when you heard about this series? Wow. This series, when you sent me the outline on it I was first Second guessing myself because I am a person full of distractions. I gave myself my own prescription of ADHD because my wife makes fun of me, right? And she doesn't make fun of me, but she was like man, your brain just doesn't stop working, huh? And I'm just like no so these topics coming up I feel like I am a person who is very distracted, but also focused on my overall goal and my overall legacy and what I do want to leave behind for my family and my kids. I want to go there for a sec. Yes. You talk about legacy. Yes. When we think about legacy, we think about bloodline. It gives us more purpose. And more motivation to pursue our goals, to not get distracted, right? And I feel like legacy is a big thing for men. So for any men listening, what would you say to encourage them while they are like envisioning and praying for their legacy? Wow. I threw that one at you. Yes, but, having a legacy, I believe it's, everybody has their own story as what legacy they are leaving behind. And, we often compare and contrast over everybody else's or who's doing better than us. And I think for me, what I would like for other men to incorporate in their lives is, leaving a legacy for yourself and being better than what you were a day ago, six months ago, five years ago. I had a. Very difficult time growing up and I'm living my dream right now. Honestly, as men we want to be the best man possible. And for me growing up, I didn't have a father figure growing up. My father was absent. And then later on, we've noticed that he was, killed and. All I knew was that I wanted to be a better man than he was and I'm doing that with my son. I see myself now and I see that, I'm just technically present for my family. I'm present for my son and that's the legacy that I'm leaving behind. It's not what people probably expected from me or my mom expected from me or somebody else as Oh, I thought, you have a lot of those comments or, you grew up the same thing as your parents. You're either a deadbeat or you use that as a power as to change your mindset and be like, I'm going to go ahead and change this stereotype. I think legacy goes deep with who you are and the message you just want to leave behind and what you want to leave behind for either your family or another person who's looking up to you. Wow. Praise the Lord. I'm so happy I asked that question. Yes. It's all about. You're, you want to change the narrative. You see what was wrong in the generation and you want to change it in your generation and moving forward. I pray that God gives you favor over you and your family. It takes a lot of strength and humility to admit that and move forward. Thank you for sharing that and yes, I'm now just even more excited for this series because I feel like for you It's not you know, I thought about when I invited you on I didn't realize how deep it was I thought it was about you know the business I thought it was about like pursuing different passion projects of yours But now I see that it's just a combination of you really wanting to be the best man and father Correct. And sometimes we battle with that, right? Us men, we just want to provide most of the time. I believe 90 percent of the time, it's, and I see it a lot, especially with the older generation or the my uncles and grandpas and stuff like that. We come and men just want to provide. And sometimes we look at providing with just money, it's not that it's more ever since I got my, with my wife, we've been through so much. And I think we hit rock bottom and, providing is way much more than just cash. Handed to your partner and or for the kids, it's about bringing peace to the family. It's about bringing happiness it's about them wanting to be around you, it's really deep it's amazing when you acknowledge your mistakes and your humility And you're able to turn the table. It might not take one day. It might not take a week or anything like that. But as soon as get on your knees and you tell God, these are all my mistakes that I made and I'm not happy about them. But for someone just to believe in you, whether it's one person, it could change your whole perspective about life. Hallelujah. Yes and amen. Okay, great. We have a great foundation. This is amazing. Okay. So talking about distractions from your experience and opinion, what do you think are common distractions when it comes to holding the vision? I don't know if I'm speaking for myself. A lot of distractions nowadays is, it's social media. One of them or it can just be your neighbor. Right next to you, living right next to you as well too, we seem to be distracted by just the little things as well too. I was battling a lot with waking up and checking my phone. It's been a battle, me always working and having my work phone on me as well to as soon as I wake up, see if I have anything like that. But just setting them away from us a little farther, you can wake up and Give your wife a kiss, give your kids a kiss, pray, telling God, thank you for waking me up another day and then go off with your day, but distractions are all over us. I'll, all around us and. It's a battle every day, it's a battle every second, and it's a battle every minute to not be distracted. And with someone like me and my mindset and ADHD it's pretty difficult to stay focused on one thing. I feel that, though. I think that there are distractions all around us externally, and then you have your own internal distractions, especially Your own mind. Yeah, your own mind. There's just so many things popping into your mind, and you had mentioned this in your form, and I really liked it. I believe it says focusing on what others are doing or how they are living. Yes. Yes. And when you said doing and living, that's daily. That's all the time. So it's like you said, like we can really be bombarded with distractions all the time. Correct. And, With social media, we know what everyone's doing all the time. It doesn't help, right? How do you stay focused to stay on your lane and fight the distractions of your neighbors? Coming with COVID my entrepreneur side of me wanted to start a detailing business, which is car detailing. And for example, I've seen people in my city who've been In the industry for years and I was already comparing myself to what they were bringing to the table and I was just someone who, bought a couple buckets from Walmart and I had some chemicals and I felt like I was a shit. I felt like I was the man with everything like I got it down. I know how to clean a car. Then I started to see that it was way more than that. I started being distracted by, man, I'm not better than these. People were, I'm not, I can't, I was comparing myself to the quantity of clients that they had and what they already had. They had a van and they had high high cost equipment as well too. And, I was being distracted by comparing myself and I wasn't focusing on what I can bring to the table with what I have now. And I think it led to just money. I think I was distracted by just money. And I caught myself, not praying, but giving myself a hard time. And my wife had, grounded me. And she let me know, hey, When you do things for money is going to run away from you, but when you do things from the heart and you help other people, then money is going to be attracted to you. So that hit me really deep within my business mindset and distractions as well, too. Everybody wants to have a lot of money. But you'll have more money when you help more people. It's common. It's that's the golden gem there. The more amount, the more people you help out, money's just gonna come and flow. I appreciate you for talking about the money piece because money is... Money is the number one distraction. I believe. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's the root of all evil and it is the number one distraction And it's one of those things where it's because it looks tangible right and see what they have what they do You know, like you said all the equipment that they have the van And it's easy To see what you don't have versus what God has in store for you if you just continue. Correct. Wow, that was so good. Yeah, money is a really big distraction. I'm stuck on that right now. Okay. Another thing you had talked about was focusing on the big picture too much. Yes. I really like that you said this because when we're focused on the big picture, but often we need to focus on the process more than the vision. And you had said that I paraphrased and the process can be overwhelming and it takes patience and perseverance to reach the vision. So I know you talked about just starting one of your businesses and then you got distracted by the money piece and then your wife gave you wisdom. Hallelujah. Yes. How did you take that shift back into a bigger picture and persevere? The way I shifted it is I saw My business as I was grabbing it to survive, right? I started it to survive to provide for my family and you know I got deep into the money route and you know I had forgotten to connect with my clients to reach back out and to you know follow up with them and a couple of years later going through that struggle my son's birthday was coming up and, we wanted to do the best that we can to provide different how do you call it? Different. They're called different, like enjoyments, like snacks or just like tacos providing like event for the guests. And my wife had mentioned, you've seen it's our other little venture that we started together. But she was like, Oh, why don't we just get ordered this on Facebook? Look, they're charging this amount. And it was it was a snack cart. And the price that they gave was like, for estimates, they were pretty high. I'm just like, man, like, why don't I just buy one? That's where my mindset went. Like, why don't we just buy one and just run it out after the party to make our money back. And it was just to make our money back. Honestly, we weren't looking at it as a business thing. But then we learned, that a lot of people don't want the hassle of. Providing a snack table that would rather hire someone to, bring that what we call them in Spanish on Antojitos or bring those snacks to the party without even them having to stress about it. And as soon as, I shifted my mindset with the way my wife was thinking, she was like, we're helping people. Not stress. That's when, everything has shifted I'm going to leave my detailing business alone for a bit. And I'm going to give it all to her. Give my all my focus, all my energy to her, whether it's transportation, whether it's, Helping with the balloons whether it's going to get her some inventory, whatever it was, I knew she was doing it from the heart and I knew is what she loved because she used to set up events for big parties and stuff like that. And, I think that's where my shift went to, persevere and not get so attached to my first business and now it's a sign, that I took from God, like we're going to do this together and if God wants us to be booked, he's going to book us right and we're helping other people and that's where it went, and we're at it still, we're not officially booked for the whole year, but one month at a time, one day at a time we're getting there. That's amazing. That's really like a labor of love. It's amazing how God just puts it in front of you, it's the saying that, one door closes, God has a bigger door for you, but you just got to believe you just got to trust in him. my wife is a real trustee of God and faith and she listens to his messages, and when I was going through a hard time, I listened to her and God spoke to her through her, to me, and I'm giving her everything I got. Yeah, it's almost like. God showed you what was possible I guess you could say by shifting you away from the detailing a little bit and Showing you it's like I wrote down like a dollar sign and a heart sign. Yes, and like the arrow so yes, that's what it makes me think of right and Yeah, and that's why I thought it was like a labor of love and something that How do you say? I just see it multiplying. You know what I mean? When you are able to give, just be generous and know that you are trying to, bring joy and bring memories. And that's what multiplies, right? And that's what keeps the business going. You said something earlier about how when you were doing the detailing, you lost sight of the connection and the relationship with your clients. And so I love how you brought that up because I think it's easy to get distracted and not take the time to invest and continue the relationships yeah, you get distracted by due dates, right? We get distracted by bills. We get distracted by, going back into distraction and how we could persevere is instead of. Really trying to help other people you're looking for that money sign just to take care of yourself at the end of the day yeah, and You then know you acknowledge that you're being a little bit selfish right trying to Get into in and out Up an event or a detail or some sort of appointment just to bring some cash home or something, I caught myself and I was just like, Oh, the more I do, the more I'm going to get. And it wasn't like that, it's quant, it's quality over quantity, and I was being selfish at the end of the day, I caught myself being selfish and, God. I'm not saying he made me pay for it, but he made me realize, that maybe this is not for you. Maybe if you do something with your wife, and my wife spoke to me, then maybe we can start again somewhere. And then you can... Persevered that way. Yeah, it could go ahead and grow that way. And we're we're here now and she comes from an entrepreneur background she was always scared of marrying someone who had an entrepreneur mindset because she knew The work that had to come with it which is working every day and sometimes working more than a nine to five and she didn't want that, and but nowadays it's tough with this economy, just even having one income or two incomes, you got it. You gotta, do something else to provide and, enjoy it as well, too. Enjoy something that, that other people are gonna enjoy. And a lot of kids love snacks, so why not? Yeah. For birthday parties. Yeah. I love that. Y'all are equally yoked. Yeah. Yes, for sure. For sure. I just think it's amazing. I feel like every parent wants to give their kids the best party, the celebration of life and it is expensive to throw parties nowadays. I think it's a great endeavor. Yeah, it is. It's expensive nowadays, and I don't think we're expensive, coming going back on to that No, I think we try to be reasonable with our pricings So that way everybody could afford us I mean at the end of the day We're doing it for other people to not feel stressed, and enjoy the snacks and tell a friend And hey, stress free cart here, order it all you can, and you're able to eat all you can as well, too. Why not? Amazing. I love how you said something earlier God didn't punish you, but he showed you something different. I love that. Anything else on the distractions before we go into focus? Anything on your heart? For anybody listening out there that's going to hear this episode, distractions are a part of life, but you got to remain grounded and be grateful for what you have in front of you and. There's other people out there who wish to be in your spot. And it could be the very minimal things that we have, right? With, which is water, we see everything that's going around in the world right now and we have light and we have water. Those are the most simple things. We have shelter. Yeah, being grateful for the little things. Correct. And it goes a long way as soon as you start your day and you're grateful for having shoes or having Your partner, your family next to you, waking up another day next to them, or, having just a purpose, I think, you're you'll live a meaningful life. You'll make a difference. Yes. I'm reminded of Calissa's episode. She had said she focuses on what she does have versus what she doesn't have. And I never thought about it. About distractions and it is a distraction and sometimes you do have to think about you get distracted by what someone else has to get to remind yourself what you have. Thank you for bringing that up. Okay. We're going to switch gears into focus. So distractions. We overcame that going into focus. So in building season in your business or personal when you're trying to build your vision and keep the passion, how do you stay focused on following your plan or blueprint? I have a really hard time, with my own blueprint. All I know it's that, I do want to be the best version out of myself. And in order to do that and to be that for everybody else, I do got to take care of myself first. Whether that's, reading, whether that's working out, whether that's going on a walk and again, I learned this from my wife, she's you go take care of yourself and then you come back to us when you're okay, and it played a big part in our relationship that way we collided a lot of times when, I was being selfish or it was just a battle of, who was more tired as a parent, we're focusing on who was more tired and we were giving each other a hard time and, it was trying to come together in our relationship and focus. What's the bigger picture, what do we want as a couple, what do we want as parents and how do we want to live? And we started focusing our mindset on that instead of I'm doing more than you or you're doing more than me, and I think the overall sticking to the blueprint side of it is always the toughest part because distractions, they do come but at the end of the day, you're better off as a team than you are. By yourself, two, two minds work better than one, and I'm truly a big believer on that, and It's difficult. So I think the one thing that I do wanna say is if you do wanna stick to your blueprint and you wanna stick to your plan, whether it is with business or relationship, or just with yourself, you have to start with yourself and you have to humiliate yourself. You have to go through humiliation, you have to go through your deepest thoughts, your deepest secrets, and either just say'em out loud to yourself and move forward. We are of our biggest hypocrite when it comes down to our own lives. If you believe what you are, then that's what you're going to become, I honestly, I'm going off topic, back in high school, I was focusing on being the cool kid, I was focusing on like freshman and sophomore year was. I was just focused on sports, then came, junior and senior year and I wanted to focus on being the cool kid. So what did I do? Started ditching class, I started smoking pot and I started focusing on that and I started Focusing on the rapper that had just came out which is Wiz Khalifa. I'm like, I'm gonna be just like Wiz Khalifa, you know I'm gonna smoke. I'm gonna laugh. I'm gonna be funny and all that and it goes back to you believe what you are You know, but that wasn't really me. It was me trying to become something that I wasn't. And when you lose focus in the person that who you truly are, you're going to lose opportunities and Wow, unfortunately in my life. I lost opportunities because of that, you know trying to focus on the wrong thing That was so good. Yeah when you said yes, I was so good I'm so glad I followed you. cause you walked us through the example, it's so easy to be focused on what's popular or what's trending. And then when you do that, you said it, you miss opportunity. Because the opportunity is only for you, correct. And I had all the opportunity in the world to play baseball at a college level in high school. I had the talent, but once junior and senior year came, I got distracted by women, right? And one thing that really stuck to me. That my baseball coach told me and his name is Graham Santiago. So if he ever listens to this shout out to you, but he told me if you chase girls then you're going to something about if you chase girls, if you chase woman, then you lose baseball. But if you chase baseball. The woman will always be there, I mean i'm not trying to be like a oh don't chase women or nothing like that women are beautiful, you guys set our ground and you know all that but when you were Little younger and you have goals and aspirations, the other gender could be a distraction yeah, and men could be a distraction for women for women as well, too and it's just the way it is But I think that's something that really stuck out to me as well, too You know, it was that saying and I was just like, okay And unfortunately, I chased the wrong girl and I lost baseball, so I feel like I lost the girl and baseball. I feel like we could end the episode right there because that's a lot to chew on. And it's so true. Yeah, I feel you. There's what's popping up for me is, okay, I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's that show with Lauren Conrad. Anyways, it's a reality Is it a podcast or is it a show? It was a reality TV show that came out probably when we were in high school. For her. But... I'm bad with names, I have to see her face and then I'll know. Honestly, I'm embarrassed that I even watched that show, so you don't have to even know who I'm talking about, I'll give you the story. She basically was in an internship for fashion, and She got picked to go to Paris, for like fashion week, to work it. She decided not to go because she wanted to stay in LA with her boyfriend. And Her boss told her you'll always be the girl that said no to Paris. So yes, women definitely get distracted by the opposite sex as well and miss out on opportunity because they're not focused and they're focused on the wrong things. They're focused on the distraction, right? They're focused on the tangibles, right? What's, what can happen now? Yeah. What you're, what is it called? Is it your dopamine wants now? Not about what it's gonna want later. And it's easy going back to distractions, Amazon Prime, we get it the next day. Yeah. Why am I going to wait a year, two years, 10 years when I can get it now? But we just, staying focused on that long vision takes a lot of work, takes a lot of ups and downs and, people come and go inside in and out of your life and for a reason. And we just got to. Not hold on to it so much when we lose opportunities and just know that God Wrote your story for a reason. So if you didn't live out your dream, maybe your kids will you never know. Yes, I wholeheartedly believe that What your dream was? And we can cut this part out your what your dream was to be in baseball, right? You didn't have that person to guide you and be there for you But your son will have that your children will have that to where they can actually Succeed and have that discernment and have that wisdom and revelation and that prayer from your wife To, fulfill the dreams that you've had and it will make you even more proud to know that you've partnered with God and your wife to attain that. Correct. And honestly going off that note, like with sports and my dream in baseball sports can be a great thing. Don't get me wrong with mindset, but coming into my relationship with my wife and doing the love languages my love languages, words of affirmation, and I wanted to be, I wanted to feel validated. All the time, and I believe that's what sports created for me as well too, you do a good thing in the sport, you're going to be validated, and if you don't, you're not going to be validated you know what I mean, validation goes, it can either go in a good way or it can go in a bad way, always seeking validation is not always good either. Yes. Okay, let's go there for a sec. Yes. It's easy to seek validation and lose focus when you're not getting the validation. So what advice would you give to yourself or others to not get distracted by needing the validation? Or even getting the validation and then you get, prideful. Correct. Validation. I say to others like with validation, seeking it from external don't over, overrate it. But give yourself that internal validation. Flip it. Flip the switch. Yeah. Instead of external validation, give yourself internal validation. And that's what I've came... With my that's what I have came in conclusion with myself. Even with the small things around the house with my wife I'm like, hey, I'm off the floor. Can you tell me good job? For example, and I'm just like, I'm doing my part at the end of the day. I'm a good husband I'm doing my part. I'm helping her out. You know what I mean? Giving myself that internal validation. I'm a good husband. I'm a good father. I'm a good friend and things like that. I'm a good son. I think that internal validation is way more expensive than the external validation. Yes. Yes, so good. How do you stay grounded when there is a lot to do, especially when you're in the, when you're in it for the long haul? I think it comes with, where you're at now instead of where you want to be or where you were in the past. It's again coming with Wanting to be better than what you are today. But remembering that whatever you do today is going to lead. To the future. So for you to be the best that you can you have to, stay grounded with the present and not worry or be anxious about the future so much or the past, because the past can eat you up as well, too, but. Learning from your past is a big step and learning how to create progressive steps to stay present is a big win for some for yourself. I think you should go on to that topic as well, too, with you, as well in your podcast, how do you stay grounded? Oh, especially making that move over there to, I'll flip the switch. How do I stay grounded? Honestly I feel like I go through it, I feel like I am wrestling with God at the time. So prayers big for me, that's for sure. Journaling cause I can be in my head. And when it comes to, I actually have, this is so cheesy. I call it podcast commandments, but it's basically rules or guide for what I want the podcast to be like, so the vision that I feel like God gave me. So I try to stick to that when I get distracted, I don't check stats either. I try not to. So I try not to focus on the tangible things like the stats or the likes. you know what, God, it's all about the one person. So I'm going to keep doing it. I think what you said the journaling and the praying goes a big way, because, but me and my wife, we actually... Split ways for a couple months and dealing with a lot of overthinking both of our ends and just wanting things now and it comes with a lot of our culture as Hispanic. If you're looking for a snack cart or antojito cart in the Monterey County area, 831, for your events, fiestas or parties, we do offer fruit bars, bionico bars, or our famous signature bar, which comes with three fruit options and candies. It could either be Mexican candies or some peanuts and chips. So if you want to take out the hassle from. setting up a snack table, go ahead and give us a follow at MunchyCart on Instagram. Where, I got into the relationship with my wife and, a month or a couple months after, she became pregnant, but we weren't married. We weren't married yet. And having to go ahead and, face her mom with that was the follow up questions. When are you guys going to get married? When are you guys going to, go grab your own place? And just wanting everything there. And then when In fact, it was just like, we don't have to live the pace of everybody else, and it's a hard pill to chase when we have traditions, and it's not that we don't love each other, it's, people probably are not financially stable to do it, throw a big wedding that they want for everybody to come, at the place that they want and the food that they want but. At the end of the day, me and my wife, she started journaling a lot and I seen the improvement with her and it was just. amazing to the fact like I started journaling it's amazing what journaling and praying could do because that's what she would do and I seen her grow from it and it made me try to Do the same thing as well, I don't pray as much as her, but I do pray. I pray in on my way to work or in the morning, in my own way. I'm not the traditional, I kneel down and I pray. I I'm driving and I'm just with no music and I just, speak to God. Hey, today in the morning, thank you for waking me up. Alongside my family Thank you for giving me another day to go to work and provide but please God, please. Let me come back tonight So I could see their face and I could give them a kiss. Good night just one more one more day and take a day and take it a day at a time and I think that's how you stay grounded and a lot of people overlook that Journaling and praying and it goes it does go a long way. It does And what's coming to mind for me is It's so easy to get caught up in what someone else wants for you, then you start living for other people, and also you get so caught up in the future and where you are currently and you think that you messed up in the past to be where you are. You're right on point. Yeah, goodness. We try to live up to those traditions, and it's difficult when the traditions are deep and we want to make everybody around us happy, but what about us, what we want, what we can, do now, it's not that we don't want to, it's just what we are able to do now. Yeah, what you're able to do now. Yeah, I like how you said that. She has to come on the faith over fear series. Yes she's carrying a big baby right now But yeah, I'll let her know Amazing, okay. I think this goes back to when you think about your past and the future, we can easily get discouraged. One of the things that you said was, ask yourself, this is going where I want it to go. Which I think we were talking about that earlier. And is it going to create a stepping stone in the right direction? Whether it's a mistake or an accomplishment. Yes. So what are your thoughts or encouragement on bouncing back from... Mistakes, I think with what the life we live of, everybody makes mistakes, but it doesn't define us we have to bounce back. At the point that you are of either, when you see the overall picture who you want to become, I'm going to say who you want to become because we all want to become something and we all want to become someone. At the end of our life, and sometimes I hear this from my mother in law. She goes, every action has a consequence. So whether you take the action or not, you're going to have a consequence. And I wish, not I wish, because I'm pretty sure my mom had told me as well too, but I was just in my teenage rebel lives, but as grown as I am now and just thinking back to that, it's just you know what, I'm not living in the past no more, the mistakes that I've made, cool. It put me here where I am now, and I think my mistakes were supposed to be mistakes. And a lot of us dwell and are too attached to our mistakes and, we don't ever move from the past and that could hinder our growth, it could slow down our growth. And I think the faster we become aware of it, the better off we are and your accomplishments, a kind of accomplishment should be that you're alive, from the mistakes that you made and just, of course, being internally happy. And it's difficult nowadays, to find that internal happiness. It's difficult when you get distracted, when you focus too much, when you're trying to do so many things. And yet you're just this short from thinking I would have had it all. God is telling you, you have it now and it's right in front of you. And I heard this from another podcast or I think I heard it from an audiobook and it says God is willing to sell you any dream. You just have to work hard for it. God is willing. A lot of people like to use the other person, and I'm not going to go there, but God is willing to give you any dream you want. You just have to put in the work and it might take. One year might take 10 years, 15 years, 30 years, but we have to learn that it's a process and it's not a destination every single time we make a mistake or we achieve something. I love that. One thing you talked about was like acceptance. Accepting your you can actually move forward. And another thing you talked about You said God will sell you your dream, right? And I think one thing that people don't talk about is that God places desires in your heart for a reason. Those dreams, those visions, for you wanting to have a family and wanting to do all those things like God places desires in your heart and Gives you that strength to keep working for it, right? Sometimes I don't think if it's God giving me the strength or is the caffeine It's probably both yeah, no, but I'm like this is God's juice real quick Let me just take a sip this morning. I jump on to that mistakes part. Diving deeper into my life, I think I've made a lot of mistakes. And with those mistakes they started stacking up. And you start losing sight of who you actually are. You start losing sight of the people around you and how they think about you, wow. Yeah. And, like I mentioned before, if you have that one person who just believe it's not you, that you're just going through something and they're willing to stick with you and be patient. And of course, that was my mother after mistake, each mistake that I was making in my life. I got caught with DUIs when I was. And as soon as I turned 18, two months later, so I had two DUIs on my plate I don't know who I was being, but I knew it wasn't me. And when I had came out of, that darkness in my life, it sent me into a position where I had to really have a talk with myself and God, because when I did get my second DUI, they did put me in county jail just for a couple of weeks, but those couple of weeks. It's all it took. Trust me. It's all it took. they had a corner in our wing is what they call it. And they had a corner of God, a picture of God. And I would go there every single day that I would wake up or throughout the day. And I would just pray to him, and I would just tell him like, I made a mistake. But this is not me, get me out of here, and he listened and, I was out of there within two weeks, but from that point forward, I had told myself, if I'm going to drink, I'm either going to call someone. I never wanted to be in the position that I was there at that point. And I made the mistake again, with dealing with that and telling myself that I wasn't going to become anything. I wasn't going to become anything because of, oh, wow, I had two DUIs. Like no one else has done anything worse. But that hindered me from actually becoming my plan B was to become a police officer. And I had just had that in my background and when I had applied for corrections and police officer They're like, no, we can't take you because of that. So then again, I had to reroute and Find my ground and the only thing that grounded me was fitness Honestly was my fitness journey and knowing that I could show up every day and become better become stronger and knowing that if I became stronger than maybe my mind would also become stronger, but I wasn't praying at that time. I wasn't journaling at that time. It was just me and my thoughts, and it came to a point where I wanted to help other people through fitness because when I was in jail, I was working out. I tried to take my life a couple times, and when I was going through that process, I was also working out so that something that's always been there was working out for me, and mistake after mistake. And I wanted to end my life, but God had a different plan. And, I found that fitness was always there for me. I gave 100 percent into my fitness journey and still am. And I believe, I see a lot of people who are incarcerated that do a lot of. Physical activity and fitness stuff, programs and stuff like that. And, it makes them a better person, I believe I have the purpose as well to, change one person's life through fitness. If either, if it's me posting a motivational video or it's me giving some tips and tricks of how they could build better habits than what they have now, then it's a win for me. And that's the sign from God is just like you help one person, you're good, try to help out another person. And, coming from all the mistakes in my life, I feel that I shouldn't define who you are, but it makes us who we are. And nowadays it's hard, we get criticized a lot. Nowadays, every second of our lives are, if we post it, we're criticized, it's difficult. And if you do, and if you don't. Yes. Wow. I'm so glad you went there. And. I really appreciate you saying that because I know a lot of people with DUIs, it's easy to think when you make a mistake that you're the only one that made that mistake. Correct. And that will bring on so much shame and so much condemnation where you think it's the end. So I, that's why I appreciate you saying that because you never know who you're helping with that, right? Cause it's so easy to think that you're alone It's crazy because you make a mistake and God is gonna put you with people who made mistakes You see that? You make mistakes and God's gonna put you with people who make mistakes now God is putting those people in front of you for a reason you either listen to their stories And they tell you don't do what I did Or you're gonna be here stuck with me and you just don't look back and you say, thank you for telling me and you take it, or you don't take it and you learn with your yourself and until you learn, then that's when you're going to go ahead and grow apart, but it's crazy how God puts you with people when you make mistakes, when you pray, when you start a business, when whatever you do, God is going to put you in that position for you to learn. That was a revelation that was so good. Did that come to you right now? Yeah, it just came to me right now. It's crazy how God puts you in positions Where he wants you to learn. Yeah. You got me there. He's okay, you're not listening to me. So I'm gonna go ahead and put you in a place where you'd listen to me. And it's not that he's not there. It's that he's there in a different form. Yeah. He's trying to teach you until you learn. He's going to transform into anything to help you. And he's always there. You just got to open that door. Yes. All right. Anything else on this topic? I think, I like to, we can drop the mic there. Yes because we talk about overcoming and I feel like that's, you hit it home already where you're talking about self doubt and not living in regret What comes to mind is when we take risk, There's a possibility of regret, but then you said that God's always there to teach us something? And to fight the self doubt, we need to have action. Oftentimes, it feels risky and uncomfortable to bet on yourself, but you gotta believe. And I'm so happy that you believed in yourself and you had faith in that time. That's such a beautiful story. How do you find the encouragement to look beyond risk and self-doubt? I think when it came to risks I give a lot of, I wanna give up a lot of roses to the circle around me. And that means, some of my friends that I see they're opening up businesses who take a risk in, going all in school or anything like that. Risk is, wow what I was going with that is that, a lot of my friends that, are either barbers or they have, different businesses they all invested in themselves. And they're like, you know what, if it doesn't work out, I can always go to a nine to five. It's fine. It's always going to be a job out there, but if you don't go all in, in yourself and you don't risk it, then same as with me. The first thing that ever popped into my mind to start a business was to start my own clothing brand when I was getting into fitness, right? I wanted to be a, those popular brands out there for fitness. People around me supported me, and then I gave up on the dream, I still have it in my mind, I still have things that are coming, I say, but I tell myself every day, you're gonna regret it, if you don't do it now, you're gonna regret it, and I'm still telling myself to this day, it's if you don't do it, you're going to regret it, and you're gonna be in your coffin, and you're gonna be like, I never did it, and It pushes me at least one step to get closer to make contact to somebody and just be like, Hey, I'm, I have this idea of clothes. I tell myself that if I don't do it now, then I'm never going to do it. I compare myself a lot to other people. And I think. I'm guilty to it. But it's motivating and inspiring that I see my friends and, and my colleagues just, be what they want to become. I see people becoming like nurses. I'm like, damn, you want to be a nurse? You became a nurse. You manifested it. There it is. Like nowadays it's like online coaching. I never knew, personal training, you could take it online. I'm just like, oh, that's possible. And you're making a living off of it. And I see a couple of my friends, actually doing super well. And I'm just like, I want to do that. Like I've been wanting to do that. But then I wanted, I have so much things in my mind that I want to do. And it's just okay, let's simmer down and let's take it one by one. Take one step at a time. And if it gets there, then it gets there. If it doesn't, then it's okay. But always take that first step before you regret it. I love that. And when you were talking about your friends, it made me think about when you see other people making it possible, it gives you more reason. It's so inspirational. Yes. It's amazing people believe in themselves people believe that they can become a comedian and they're gonna become a comedian although we still hear that person's not that funny, but he made his dream happen you know what? It's people really believe in themselves and that to me is Just like breathtaking because sometimes I catch myself and then I look back and I'm just like what if I didn't believe in myself I wouldn't be where I was here now, I would have taken my life or I wouldn't believe that I was gonna be a good father a great father and here I am now Like you said living in your prayers. Alright, what is your last piece of advice you would give others while they're pursuing their goals? Either they're starting from the ground, or they're reshuffling their vision. What advice would you give? Wow I say first of all write it down write down your vision because then it's visual and if you see your vision in a piece of paper then you're actually able to see it and be aware of it and Just know that A lot of bumps on the road and obstacles are going to come with that vision, but just keep holding on to it, hold on to it because it's going to lead there. It doesn't mean you're never going to leave there. It doesn't mean you're not ever going to get there. It's never a straight line, but you have to hold on to it with your dearest life and pursue it. And just understand that God is testing you every single day. And sometimes those days are going to be harder than others. But he's leading you that way. He's leading you to the way of your heart. And if you do it with love and you're kind to other people, then he's going to go ahead and make that happen for you. You're going to actually going to live to see If I could speak to my younger self, I would say you're doing a great job without your father, but with the guidance of your mother and the people who are around you, I'm going to surround you with love and I'm going to surround you with safety. You go ahead and just be kind to others. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to have temptations and sometimes you're going to give in, but that doesn't make you who you are. He's carrying us to our light and it's just. Us wanting to receive that light it's us believing in him and believing in ourselves And knowing that it's for a better purpose Yes. Wow I really enjoy this episode. Thank you I really enjoyed it. I honestly felt like I got some Stuff off my chest that I've been wanting to speak about a lot and sometimes I am afraid of speaking out of my mistakes and you know my afraid of bringing up a lot of Like personal stuff because you just never know nowadays But at the end of the day if someone could hear this episode and just be like, you know You're not the only person Going through whatever you're going through, there's always someone to hear you out and someone who's also going through that same thing Just in a different way or a different time then you made an impact. I had another person reach out to me And shout out to him I'm going to send it to this episode to him, but, I think he just compared the timeframe differently in the sense of he saw that I was working out for more than an hour. It looked like, and he was only getting a certain amount because he just had a newborn baby. And we tend to compare ourselves to different people, but we have different timeframes. So my son's three years old. I have a little bit more Independency that someone that doesn't depend on us that we have to be behind his back that at that time I didn't even work out. I would only get 10 15 minutes 30 minutes at max And I would feel guilty that I was out, working out, and my family was here, and my baby was crying. And I feel that a lot of people, we do compare our time frame. We don't compare each other, but we compare what position we are at a certain time. And sometimes that can go ahead and, hold us back a little bit. Yes. Totally. Totally. I love how you brought up the timeline thing. Yeah. Yeah. See, you're giving me a lot to think about. This is why I really love this episode. It's hard not to compare, but, we got to realize that we're not living anybody else's lives. We're living our own and we got to take it with a grain of salt, we got to take it every minute at a time. I love that you went there with certain things and really vulnerable about distractions and about comparison because Everyone struggles with that and it's so hard to almost come out of it, right? And to not get sucked into it and you can easily lose your focus When you do compare whether it's a timeline whether it's tangible things whether it's money Whether it's success and what I really admired was you talk about you came in here and on your intro you just said the three things, right? That you were a father, that you were a man of God, that you were a partner, because that's your foundation, right? And then from there, I think that's why you are able to be creative. And why you're able to have a lot of other... Avenues for business, for whatever you want to pursue. I think that's why you have a lot of dreams because once you have a good foundation, you're able to be creative and really be driven by purpose. And then I love the way you brought up like legacy in the beginning and at the end you're bringing in dreams, right? And before I changed my username to uvrsp on Instagram, my handle, my handlebar was legendary dreams and that's the clothing brand that I started with was, legendary dreams and I, that came from a movie, which is, hopefully you heard about it. It's called Sandlot. Yes. Yes. Yeah, Sandlot, best movie ever made, I think, and I'm a big baseball fan, and he had a dream. He was having a dream, and he woke up, and Babe Ruth came out of the closet, and he told him, heroes get remembered, but legends never die, and I'm just like, wow, legends? And then he had a dream. Why not call it legendary dreams, that's what my clothing brand is called, but it's crazy how they, how you started this podcast with legacy and then you're ending it with dreams. How we often have dreams that we want to accomplish. And we can't, we just got to believe in ourselves and you're doing yours. Yes. So good. No I've commend you for showing up authentically and being accountable and really using words that I don't even use myself. you use like words like humiliation where I'm like, wow that's part of the process, and I do think we're made for more than Working in nine to five. I have a nine to five but I think I believe we're made for more I believe that God gave each one of us gifts and a dream multiple dreams right to build on and Not only for us but for our families I am so excited and now like I'm a fan, I can't wait to see what comes out of everything that you're doing. It's really exciting. Same here. Thank you for giving me the platform to do so and, I'm excited to see your podcast grow and inspired me to, probably give it another jab with my wife as soon as she gives birth. it's for you to be the first one to genuinely give me the time and the platform to share my story with the topics that you came up with. I think it was just God's timing. And I want to say thank you and God bless you for what you're doing. Thank you. I am honored. I do want to play a game. Okay. I'm going to rattle some things off and then you can decide. All when you take notes, pen to paper or notes on your phone? Like electronic notes. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I'm not traditional. I do my phone. Oh, you do? Okay. Yes, I do my phone only because I have it in my hand and it's like I have to go look for a notepad and a pen and I'm just like, lemme just take it on my phone. Yes, Okay. Okay. Either work or personal, do you do email, text, instant message, form of communication? I think I do all three. Okay. Yeah, I do all three because when I'm trying to, obviously when you're trying to get in contact some and you know they're on their phone and they're on like a social media. You just send a DM real quick. I see you're active now, or, you're always looking at my stories. Hey, I'm gonna send you a message real quick, but if it's professionalism, that's what I learned as well, too. It's always got to be through email because you always got to backtrack it. You can do that with text messages too, but I think it's more professional through email, of course. Instagram or TikTok or what other platform? Sorry wifey, but I choose Instagram. But She chooses TikTok and I'm going to jump on this real quick because I feel like Instagram, you're paying a reality show. You're just showing the best of who you are, right? Where in TikTok, it's true what they say, you're able to be yourself and people are still validating you, on Instagram, I see a lot of. I'm not saying it's bad or wrong, but not all being authentic. It's yeah judgy and being criticized a lot then it is on tiktok, we're You're able to reach the whole world if you use a hashtag, and people are able to connect with you and they comment, thank you for sharing this. And Instagram, you would think so because you have personal or friends that are allowed to follow you on Instagram, and you would think you would get that love from the people closest to you, but I'm Instagram because I love, I just, it's easier for me to to use it. But I love Tik TOK as well because she loves it and I see the, the authenticity that she gets from it. And she actually goes a little bit viral on it when she posts a couple of stuff and some single stuff she does too. Amazing. Yeah. Okay. Thank you for that. Yes. Journaling or working out or favorite form of taking a break. The one that saved my life, working out. Okay. Yes, working out. Thank you so much. For being here. And I hope and pray that this episode reaches far and wide. I feel like there's a lot of people with similar stories I think what I love about your episode is not being bound by the past, not being bound by the mistakes, and what was spoken over you before and you really breaking generational norms, and I think that it's also super courageous to live on your own terms, even though when there is like a deep sense of a deep rooted traditional value in the day to day and how you live and everyone wants to have a say in what you do, right? I can see that you dug deep, and what I thought the episode was gonna be about, ended up being something completely different. Thank you for having me again, and I do, pray that it does change one person's mindset and they believe in themselves. 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